i want to ask you if I’m handsome
and i hope you would tell me no
because i know i’m not
if you really knew me you’d wish you didn’t

and i wish you would still be strange to me
and i would find you fascinating
just like a door without a key
a puzzle without an answer

and i could write this poem to you
and say its a love letter
we would laugh and forget about it later
i dont mind it at all because it makes me feel calm

like I’m a kid again
as if i could be a weirdo with you
like im safe or have a connection with a person
and not alone anymore

Felt like i could write this and read it out to you
but its not what it was because its not the same anymore
There is now a sour point in my stomach
or maybe its in my nose, its behind my eyes and it’s just heavy
and it doesn’t go away, its like a dark cloud

i had to look at what you looked like and your old jokes
and remember you were actually real
but it wont be what it was anymore
we are not kids anymore just like frank ocean said

remember you said im frank ocean
and i think you are tyler the creator
we could have created something like Odd Future
but it went sour

tyler blocked frank ocean just like you did the same
i didnt block you back though because i still have something left
to hope or dream about
and maybe i shouldnt have

the air is chilling in the room from the damn AC
and i wish i could just go to sleep
but i wish i hadnt lost contact with you

i wish i could cry but im not
i guess the tears went down to the back of my eyes
down to the nose and went somewhere deeper
its making my chest sink and more hallow

oh why oh why it was what i asked
to myself and to you even though you cannot get it
is it a prank, a hurtful thing to hurt me
is it a joke from a heartless bully
or is it just something that’s not serious from the start

maybe i should have known
or you didn’t even know
maybe its just too much
and i just sit here and feel like 
i guess i just feel sad. Man.